Brenna, the darling girl we are adopting from China, has Down Syndrome. I knew that she had Down Syndrome when I found her and fell in love with her. Pat and I made an intentional decision to pursue the adoption of a child with Down Syndrome and in this post I attempt to explain why.
But perhaps the simplest answer is WHY NOT?!
An individual with Down Syndrome is indeed created in the image of God just like any other person. Brenna's extra 21st chromosome is no accident. God placed it there in her DNA, on purpose. It is who she is, who He created her to be. She is fearfully and wonderfully made, just as you and I are.
Down Syndrome is not a death sentence, nor a prognosis of a life of suffering. The life expectancy for an individual with Down Syndrome has risen from 23 in the 1980s to 60 currently. Yes, there are lots of health issues associated with Down Syndrome, but the medical community is aware of the risks and able to proactively and effectively monitor them, detect them, and in most cases, treat them. Early intervention and special education services are available in all school districts to help children with Down Syndrome reach their full potential, and there are so many community resources, groups and programs available to adults.
Individuals with Down Syndrome have relationships. They have jobs. They have hobbies. They fall in love. They make and spend money. They play. They worship. They have friends. They have personalities. They have pets. They make a difference in the world. They fulfill their God-given purpose.
We live in an era of medical technology in which pregnant women are encouraged to have prenatal testing to identify birth defects and genetic conditions. Many women who find out that the baby they are carrying has Down Syndrome will have an abortion. Statistics vary widely on how often this occurs, but the most reputable one I have found is 67%....2 out of every 3 babies diagnosed prenatally as having Down Syndrome are aborted. I am passionately pro-life and I am not going to apologize for that. I believe God's word is abundantly clear that life begins at conception, and that all life has value. So for me, these statistics are nauseating.
I'd like to also share this quote from Mark Bradford, president of the Jerome Lejeune Foundation USA: "Whatever the statistical realities may be, the number of those who choose abortion after a prenatal diagnosis is far too high. It should be none. To paraphrase the recently deceased disabilities rights activist, Dr. Adrienne Asch, the only thing prenatal diagnosis can provide is a first impression of who a child will be. Making such a radical decision as to end the life of a child based upon a first impression is a most horrible and violent form of discrimination. It has no place in an American society that is committed to ending discrimination in any form and that has intensified that effort for persons with disabilities over the last 25 years since the signing of the Americans with Disabilities Act in July 1990."
The Down Syndrome parenting books that I got from the library spend a good deal of time talking about getting a diagnosis, whether that is prenatally or at birth, and coming to terms with that as a parent. It is not my intention to diminish the significance of this process for families, as they are facing something unexpected and life-altering. If birth parents feel they cannot meet the needs of their baby with Down Syndrome, the National Down Syndrome Adoption Network is available to help: http://www.ndsan.org/
Brenna needs a family, and we're going to be her family. I am no hero. I am just a Mama who fell in love with her baby, and her baby has Down Syndrome. She also has dark hair, and brown eyes, and a precious smile. I can't wait to meet her, and hold her, and love her for the rest of my life. I know it won't be easy, but the best things in life rarely are.
Saturday, July 15, 2017
Sunday, July 2, 2017
A Little Girl From China
The last time I wrote a blog post was in March 2014. My, oh my, so much has happened since then. I'm going to start with our exciting announcement and then backtrack to tell the whole story.
We are adopting a little girl from China! She is a waiting child, which means we didn't wait to be referred or matched to her. I found her on the website Reese's Rainbow which fund raises and advocates for the adoption of children with Down Syndrome. Her name is Brenna and she completely captured my heart.
So how did we get here?! I left you in 2014 and that was a year of waiting... waiting for the referral of a child from Ethiopia. There was turmoil in the Ethiopian government at that time and referrals were suspended for a period of several months. Our wait time went from 6-9 months to 18 months and up, essentially an indefinite wait. This was frustrating for us but we continued to trust in the Lord and His plan for our family.
In early February 2015 we got a wonderful surprise- I was pregnant! This pregnancy was by far my hardest. My morning sickness was awful and I had other concerning symptoms as well. At 16 weeks after a trip to the ER we found out that I had gallstones. I was unable to manage the attacks by changing my diet. No matter what I ate, I was in severe pain. We found a great surgeon at UMD Medical Center and I was scheduled for surgery in May. Surgery went well and God protected Collin through it, but my recovery wasn't easy. I ended up severely anemic and required IV infusions of iron in my 8th and 9th months of pregnancy. We were in total survival mode, just doing one day at a time. Pat was the rock that held our family together, taking on most of my responsibilities as well as his own. In the midst of all of this it became obvious that we would need to put our adoption plans on hold. Our agency was very understanding and so our file was placed on hold and we planned to reevaluate several months after our baby was born.
Collin Thomas Hourigan was born October 19, 2015. He is a joy and a blessing and we are so thankful that God gave him to us when He did! His birth was wonderful and we bonded beautifully. As time went by and Collin passed certain milestones, we would reopen the conversation about adoption, but for a long time we didn't feel ready. In August of 2016, we even wrote a letter that we planned to give to our family and friends and those who had donated money to our adoption, explaining that we were ending our adoption process and the reasons why. But I never had peace about sending that letter. We had the okay from our agency to remain on hold, so we did.
It was at the beginning of this year, 2017, that God stirred our hearts again towards adoption. We were ready! We contacted our agencies and started the process to update our home study. It went so much more smoothly than it had the first time around. Everything was falling into place and we fully intended to pick up right where we left off. We were told that we'd have a referral within 12 months and so we expected that our Ethiopian daughter-to-be would be home by the end of 2018. We were excited!
Then in April we got news that the Ethiopian Ministry of Women's and Children's Affairs (MOWA) was suspending the processing of all adoption petitions and in May it was announced that all open petitions would be issued denials and no new petitions would be accepted. This news was shocking and I struggled to process it. Honestly, it felt like a loss. We had picked a name back in 2013- Tirzah Faith- and I used to picture her in my arms. I didn't know what her face would look like so I would think of wearing her in a ring sling and looking down at her black curly hair. I prayed for her and I had made space in my heart to love her. And just like that, I knew it would never happen.
We decided to go ahead and finish our home study because we had already paid for it and it was halfway completed. We toyed around with the idea of domestic adoption and researched a few other international programs, but nothing seemed to fit. We felt unsure and in limbo.
A few other things were going on in the lives of those around us that helped to lead us to where we are now. Our friends the Parlers brought their son Hudson home from China. They shared a lot on Facebook at every step of their process and it was neat and inspiring to watch their story. One evening, also on Facebook, I scrolled across a post from MOPS International about a family who had adopted children with Down Syndrome. It struck a chord with me and Pat and I found ourselves researching the adoption of a child with Down Syndrome. I shared this at a prayer meeting with two close friends, and one friend also shared that was something her and her husband were talking about.
Then on Tuesday, June 6th I was scrolling through photo listings of waiting children and found her...It was a lightning bolt to my heart. I've never felt anything like it. Her name is Brenna, and I just knew she was my daughter. I cried and prayed and loved her instantly. And from there, the rest is just a whirlwind of emails, applications, research and prayer. I prayed like I never had before. We encountered a significant financial obstacle immediately and I thought it wouldn't happen, and then God did a miracle. That's all I can say, but trust me, He heard me and He answered mightily!
So now just 3 weeks later we find ourselves waiting for a pre-approval letter from China, which our caseworker says we can expect in 1-3 weeks. And once we have that letter, she is ours, barring an extreme unforeseen circumstance. And it is possible that she could be home with us in just 8 or 9 months! Also once we have pre-approval, I've been told I'm allowed to share pictures on Facebook so definitely stay tuned for that :)
I have so much more to share about Brenna and hope to do that in future blog posts. I want to tell you about how I've always wanted to adopt from China and how the Lord is bringing everything full circle for me. I want to share about Down Syndrome and why Pat and I are intentionally choosing to embrace a child with that diagnosis. I want to tell you about all of the wonderful things Pat and I have learned during our adoptive parent training and through the ups and downs of the last 4 years. And if you have any other questions, I'd love to answer those too!
We are adopting a little girl from China! She is a waiting child, which means we didn't wait to be referred or matched to her. I found her on the website Reese's Rainbow which fund raises and advocates for the adoption of children with Down Syndrome. Her name is Brenna and she completely captured my heart.
So how did we get here?! I left you in 2014 and that was a year of waiting... waiting for the referral of a child from Ethiopia. There was turmoil in the Ethiopian government at that time and referrals were suspended for a period of several months. Our wait time went from 6-9 months to 18 months and up, essentially an indefinite wait. This was frustrating for us but we continued to trust in the Lord and His plan for our family.
In early February 2015 we got a wonderful surprise- I was pregnant! This pregnancy was by far my hardest. My morning sickness was awful and I had other concerning symptoms as well. At 16 weeks after a trip to the ER we found out that I had gallstones. I was unable to manage the attacks by changing my diet. No matter what I ate, I was in severe pain. We found a great surgeon at UMD Medical Center and I was scheduled for surgery in May. Surgery went well and God protected Collin through it, but my recovery wasn't easy. I ended up severely anemic and required IV infusions of iron in my 8th and 9th months of pregnancy. We were in total survival mode, just doing one day at a time. Pat was the rock that held our family together, taking on most of my responsibilities as well as his own. In the midst of all of this it became obvious that we would need to put our adoption plans on hold. Our agency was very understanding and so our file was placed on hold and we planned to reevaluate several months after our baby was born.
Collin Thomas Hourigan was born October 19, 2015. He is a joy and a blessing and we are so thankful that God gave him to us when He did! His birth was wonderful and we bonded beautifully. As time went by and Collin passed certain milestones, we would reopen the conversation about adoption, but for a long time we didn't feel ready. In August of 2016, we even wrote a letter that we planned to give to our family and friends and those who had donated money to our adoption, explaining that we were ending our adoption process and the reasons why. But I never had peace about sending that letter. We had the okay from our agency to remain on hold, so we did.
It was at the beginning of this year, 2017, that God stirred our hearts again towards adoption. We were ready! We contacted our agencies and started the process to update our home study. It went so much more smoothly than it had the first time around. Everything was falling into place and we fully intended to pick up right where we left off. We were told that we'd have a referral within 12 months and so we expected that our Ethiopian daughter-to-be would be home by the end of 2018. We were excited!
Then in April we got news that the Ethiopian Ministry of Women's and Children's Affairs (MOWA) was suspending the processing of all adoption petitions and in May it was announced that all open petitions would be issued denials and no new petitions would be accepted. This news was shocking and I struggled to process it. Honestly, it felt like a loss. We had picked a name back in 2013- Tirzah Faith- and I used to picture her in my arms. I didn't know what her face would look like so I would think of wearing her in a ring sling and looking down at her black curly hair. I prayed for her and I had made space in my heart to love her. And just like that, I knew it would never happen.
We decided to go ahead and finish our home study because we had already paid for it and it was halfway completed. We toyed around with the idea of domestic adoption and researched a few other international programs, but nothing seemed to fit. We felt unsure and in limbo.
A few other things were going on in the lives of those around us that helped to lead us to where we are now. Our friends the Parlers brought their son Hudson home from China. They shared a lot on Facebook at every step of their process and it was neat and inspiring to watch their story. One evening, also on Facebook, I scrolled across a post from MOPS International about a family who had adopted children with Down Syndrome. It struck a chord with me and Pat and I found ourselves researching the adoption of a child with Down Syndrome. I shared this at a prayer meeting with two close friends, and one friend also shared that was something her and her husband were talking about.
Then on Tuesday, June 6th I was scrolling through photo listings of waiting children and found her...It was a lightning bolt to my heart. I've never felt anything like it. Her name is Brenna, and I just knew she was my daughter. I cried and prayed and loved her instantly. And from there, the rest is just a whirlwind of emails, applications, research and prayer. I prayed like I never had before. We encountered a significant financial obstacle immediately and I thought it wouldn't happen, and then God did a miracle. That's all I can say, but trust me, He heard me and He answered mightily!
So now just 3 weeks later we find ourselves waiting for a pre-approval letter from China, which our caseworker says we can expect in 1-3 weeks. And once we have that letter, she is ours, barring an extreme unforeseen circumstance. And it is possible that she could be home with us in just 8 or 9 months! Also once we have pre-approval, I've been told I'm allowed to share pictures on Facebook so definitely stay tuned for that :)
I have so much more to share about Brenna and hope to do that in future blog posts. I want to tell you about how I've always wanted to adopt from China and how the Lord is bringing everything full circle for me. I want to share about Down Syndrome and why Pat and I are intentionally choosing to embrace a child with that diagnosis. I want to tell you about all of the wonderful things Pat and I have learned during our adoptive parent training and through the ups and downs of the last 4 years. And if you have any other questions, I'd love to answer those too!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)